Returning to the Rhythm of the Relationship

During a recent spiritual direction session, a directee shared her longing to return to a regular routine in her life—particularly in her prayer life—but she did not want it to be just repeating prayers learned by rote.

As she spoke, I gently reflected back what I was hearing: “Is it for a daily rhythm of prayer?”

She nodded.

Then she added, “Right, not a routine of rote.”

“Ah, then a ritual?”

“Yes!”

She then expressed a desire to come to prayer with greater awareness: “I know what I am praying, but why do I? I want to know.”

“Ah, you are seeking the reason—your intention—for why you are praying?”

“Yes.”

“And to reflect?”

“Right.”

She then named something many of us can relate to: the stream of thoughts that surface during prayer. Some come from God, drawing us deeper into communion; some come from within us—our longings, distractions, even unhealed places; and others, she sensed, are not from God at all.

“You know, I call them red flags.”

And then she shared, “I want to be aware and stop them!”

“As in real time?”

"Yes" She wanted to grow in discerning the difference.

“How do you notice?”

“Hmm…”

“So as to reject what is not of God?”

“Right,” she nodded.

We both laughed out loud together as we realized—and began to connect the dots—all the R words.

And we began to list them with playful glee:

• Routine to Ritual, from

• Rote to Rhythm, from

• Reaction to Reason, from

• Red flags in Real time to

• Rejecting them, and to

• Reflect on God’s loving action in her life.

That day was a graced gift of the Holy Spirit for her: a time of insight into the discernment process she was becoming aware of through her desires, and into how God was inviting her to a deeper and closer Relationship.